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Post by child-of-fae on Mar 18, 2007 14:28:16 GMT -5
My sister and I were on our computers this morning and she was talking to me about her friends from school. Then she told me she quoted Cyanide and Happiness while playing thumb war. Jay: Elle won't play thumb wars with me, will you. My Sister: Fine..Wait! You have to count! Jay: Okay fine. Sister and Jay: 1-2-3-4 I declare a thumb war, 5-6-7-8- Sister: I use this hand to masturbate. Jay:..... I'm sorry if it's innappropriate, but I laughed and I thought others might. Does anyone else have funny quotes?
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Post by Trey on Mar 19, 2007 11:40:47 GMT -5
not innapropriate.
I like to put quotes that are favorites of mine in my siggy. I'll start off with those because I'm too lazy to look some up so I don't misquote them.
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Post by Joe Shmoe on Mar 19, 2007 11:49:28 GMT -5
"It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it." ~unkown.
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Post by Spammich on Mar 19, 2007 12:57:21 GMT -5
too lazy...
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Post by Joe Shmoe on Mar 19, 2007 18:00:32 GMT -5
*cracks open a word document* Be aware, I just cracked an ambian, sorry if they have some trippy setups....off to the showers before everythings too weird to do so. Please note that I don't know who half of thease people are.
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger woods"
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
"Don't think of it as getting hot flashes, lady. Just think of it as your inner child playing with matches."'
"Some days make you wonder if you've made bad choices in your life. Especially those days when the FBI shows up and digs in your back yard."
"Kind of ironic isn't it? Roy has been sucking dick all his life and then gets eaten by a pussy!"
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. ~ george carlin" " Atheism is a non-prophet organization."
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Post by bubbles on Mar 19, 2007 20:03:24 GMT -5
"His heart was in Quebec." "Yeah, and he's got Ontario up the ass too."
Bon Cop Bad Cop is about as quotable as Fight Club, it's just crazy. =O
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Post by Trey on Mar 20, 2007 1:27:10 GMT -5
must....seee......</3
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Post by The Star Fox on Mar 20, 2007 16:12:50 GMT -5
"Esti qu'il est con" what does it mean Poppy? I don't speak Quebecois....
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Post by Trey on Mar 21, 2007 0:06:06 GMT -5
"It's only an eye. God saw it so fitting to grace me with a spare." -300
(I may have misquoted, I've only seen it 3 times*sofar*)
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Post by bubbles on Mar 21, 2007 13:34:07 GMT -5
Something along the lines of "Christ, he's stupid", Fox. =o
"You take sugar?" "No thank you, Turkish. I'm sweet enough."
"Why do they call him the bullet-dodger?" "Cause he dodges bullets"
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Post by Clover on Mar 21, 2007 13:52:35 GMT -5
"I have only asked one thing of God, 'Lord, make my enemies ridiculous', and lo! He has granted it!"" --Voltaire
"Suburbia is where developers bulldoze the trees--and then name streets after them." --Bill Vaughn
those two are striking my fancy. As well as this: "And yes, I know it's stupid, but -foshizzle- is in the fuckin' dictionary." --Mr Morgan, my writer's craft professor.
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Post by bubbles on Mar 21, 2007 14:15:33 GMT -5
... it is?
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Post by Clover on Mar 21, 2007 14:23:36 GMT -5
Apparently. He was all incensed about it.
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Post by The Star Fox on Mar 22, 2007 19:10:47 GMT -5
esti qu'il est con
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Post by child-of-fae on Mar 22, 2007 19:34:45 GMT -5
Me: Did you just say Frankie pissed in your kibble?
(Since our school's eigth grade traditionally builds gingerbread houses, we were in the art room maiing them) Me: *holding up the piece for the front of the house, only sideways* "They built this wrong." Teacher: No.....*takes it and holds it the correct way* Me: Oooohhhh... Leon: I think you just passed Shay on the retard scale Izz: Blonde!
(I go to a parochial school, so we've got to wear skirts, but when it's cold, the girls wear pajama pants under them.) Vikk: Liz, take off your pants. Me: What?!?! No thank you.
Teacher: And the people coming to do the Nativity are going to bring a donkey, sheep, and a large animal. Barry: Is it a gorilla? It's a gorilla. Me: Bar, There's no gorillas naturally found in the middle east. Barry: Oh, so no gorillas?
(I was at the mall with some of my friends, and my one very 'gangster' friend Shay wanted to go into this one store Epic) Kareem: What? NO! Mo: You can't go in there. John: You're gonna get shot. (so we ended up going in, and right be fore we went in, Shay trned to ma and said...) Shay: You're gonna get shot. (as a joke because I'm super pale, and frequently wear 'goth' clothing, as opposed to everyone else I was with, who, no matter how pale any of them were, were more 'gangster') Me: I will kill you so hard you will die to death.
Ok...My homeroom teacher was out for the afternoon, so our gym & computers teacher filled in. He is quite possibly the coolest teacher at our school, and evryone loves it when he subs. So he was trying to get this walkie-talkie thinger from ebay... Me: Is it some kind of walkie-talkie thing...? Teach: Yea. Izz: How much is the bid? Teach: $83, but no one's touched it in 2 hours.... Me: So bid $83.01! Teach: Someone's gonna outbid that. Me: Who?!?! Teach: Someone with sense! Me: Pffft! Who needs sense?! and then later, we went into the computer lab, and he bid on it. Teach: Okay, I'm going to bid $84....Oh come on! Me: What? Augie: You've been outbid Izz: How much? Me: the other guy bid $85. Izz: Teach: I'm gonna go again..... Me: You just got outbid again Augie: $87, HAHA! Izz: You bid $86 and he bid $87? wow.... finally, the teach gave up. Then, my other classmate comes back from the rest room. classmate: I don't get it, were you playing (against) the computer or someone else?
Augie: Adrian's GAY.........wait, I didn't mean to say that out loud.....
(while watching some christmas lights special.) TV: .......... And it's at the Gaylord Palm in Florida. Me: ......................................Gaylord Sister: HAHAHAHA!
Me: Has anyone noticed that for the past five minutes the only thing C has been doing was callling out "asian"?
Me: I shouldn't listen to classical music in the mornings.
Me: How did we forget the lyrics to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? (We've got a dove that's always flying around our church, so my friends and I have dubbed it the Holy Spirit *ohmygoshblasphemy* While walking to get the costumes for the nativity, I saw it.)
Me: Look! It's the bird! Izz: JESUS! Vikk: *freaks out and runs away while I followed her, laughing* (Cammie and Izz came around the corner) Cammie: She almost caught it. Izz: I almost had Jesus but then he ran away!
(I made a sponge cake for the first time) Mom: It's good dad: yep Brother: It's okay (basically, my family said it was good.) Me: ............It tastes funny.
My family went to the bronx zoo, and there was a person on stilts dressed as some sort of animal, while a bearded man dressed in purple robes, fairy wings, and holding a staff walked behind it. Mom: Let's go find the Fairy Man again. Me: That's not a very polite thing to say about someone.
Jane: Vik, do you think (ugly person) is cute? Vik: *very sleepy* ....yea....
(A conversation between my younger brother and me.) Me: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did peter piper pick? Him: Peter pepper..peter pickled...Peter piper picked a...a....... Me: peter piper picked a peck. Him: Peter piper picked a peck of peppers. how much did he pick? 5 mintues later Him: Do the peter peckled picked...uh.... Me: Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did peter piper pick? Him: Peter piper...picked a peck of peppers. how many peppers did he pick? ....how much is a peck? Me: not sure. try again. Him: Peter piper picked a peck of... Me: Pickled Him: Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many.. Me: pickled peppers Him: how many pickled peppers did peter piper pick? (I think a peck is twelve bushels...or maybe it's the other way around.) Vikk: I feel nauseous. Me: Face the other way. T: (speaking to our squad flyer) What we just did with vikk is what you don't want to happen. (I do an individual cheer at the games, i'm suppose to include the S at the end of our school name, but people i go to a school like St. Brendan's, so i don't always use the S...sometimes I mess up...) Me: gimme an N! Squad: N! Me: What does that spell?! half the squad: Brendan's! the other half: S! Me: Louder! (My class is strangely obesessed with asians. I say that because many of my quotes will reference something asian, and I don't want anyone to think of me as prejudiced...and yes...I probably spelled that wrong.) C: My parents went to Utah for the weekend Me: The Asians are migrating! Jem: Do you realise what you just did? C: What? I couldn't see! Me: How can you, you're asian? C: ;D Me: Ohyes! Work that street corner! (to my friends) Me: (to my dog) Are you a huge little puppy? My younger brother: That's an oxymoron Me: shuddup. (we recently got our parts for our spring play, we're doing the wizard of oz and my friend is the wicked witch of the west.) Liz: (reading lines) You've killed the wicked witch of the west--EAST! (My friend Cammi brings pocky to school sometimes. we were outsde and there was no trash can.) Cammi: Does anyone want the box? Me: Ohoh! I do! Cammi:...okay here. Me: I have a magical pocky box. It is superior to your magical pocky box. Vikk: oh good lord.
I'm sorry if any of those offended people. we didn't mean any of it.
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